Akello also resurrected an old debate of which came first the egg or the chicken; the love or the submission? JAMES SSEKANDI went in search of answers and found himself confronted by a different question: which modern-era man wants a submissive woman?
Perhaps Brian Tuka, a radio journalist in Kampala, is not your typical Ugandan man. Asked how much submission he expects from his wife of two years, Tuka can’t hide his embarrassment. For him, it is a throwback to an era long gone, to a generation he deems awkward.
A business administration graduate, Tuka says submissiveness would lead to communication difficulties and create a gulf between the woman and a man like him. Inevitably, he says, failed communication would lead to conflict, and what was love would easily become war.
“Submissiveness is a voluntary behaviour. I always make sure my marriage is built on common respect and there should be mutual servant-hood with trust, confidence for each other,” Tuka says.
He seems to represent the new, educated type of man who cannot stand the sight of his spouse showing the kind of don’t-challenge-me submissiveness that our great grandfathers demanded from their wives.
Greeting grandpa without kneeling down could earn the woman serious punishment. Moreover, grandma knew the futility of arguing with or fighting her husband. It was like the legendary clash between the egg and stone: no matter who attacked first, the winner was always the stone.