THERE has always been this misconception that getting pregnant is a simple task. On the contrary, trying to conceive can be a long and difficult road for some couples. When you and your partner decide it’s time to expand your family, how long should you realistically expect to try before you get pregnant? And at what point is it worthwhile seeing a fertility expert? Some couples are content to stop their contraception and just see what happens; others find themselves in a monthly cycle of expectation and disappointment.
Most specialists won’t start fertility investigations or refer you to a specialist until after 12 months of trying. The reason for this can be understood when we look at how efficient normal fertility actually is. Even for a healthy, fertile couple, the ‘per month’ success rate is around 15-20 percent, so it is not at all uncommon for it to take some months to conceive.
Overall, around 70 percent of couples will have conceived by 6 months, 85 percent by 12 months and 95 percent will be pregnant after two years of trying. Although for a normally fertile couple, the ‘per month’ rate is around 20 percent, as you might expect for couples where there actually is a problem, the pregnancy rate is lower. It is useful to know the overall background rate of pregnancy after any given duration of trying, particularly to make sense of success claims of any treatment. ‘Infertility’ is really a poor term to use, because this implies that there is no chance of getting pregnant.
For most couples who are referred for further investigations, it would be best described as ‘sub fertility’, meaning reduced fertility, as there is usually a background pregnancy rate— it’s just taking longer than they would wish. Of course couples will want to exclude an insurmountable problem, or one which will definitely require some form of treatment to succeed.
Now, unless you’ve got a previously diagnosed medical condition or been told earlier in life that you may have difficulty conceiving, it can come as a shock to discover you may have fertility issues. Many people are oblivious to the fact that they could have fertility problems until they actually start trying for a baby and it doesn’t happen as easily as they’d expected. So how do you know that you’re infertile?
Although the causes of infertility are often unknown and varied, there are some signs and symptoms that could indicate potential fertility issues, for both men and women. As a woman, typical warning symptoms like irregular periods (not having a period about every four weeks) or no periods at all could indicate a problem with your hormones not working properly. Due to this, you may not be ovulating regularly, which could cause fertility problems.
Also, an experience of painful or very heavy periods could indicate that there’s something wrong with the lining, or endometrium, of your womb. It could be that there’s a non-cancerous growth in your womb, such as a polyp or fibroid, or tissue may be growing in other places — a condition known as endometriosis. Either way, these issues can affect your fertility.
Endometriosis in particular is one of the most common reasons a woman could have difficulties getting pregnant, so if you know you have the condition, you can at least be prepared to face potential fertility issues. For a man, certain problems with ejaculation, especially a condition called retrograde ejaculation where the semen goes into the bladder instead of the penis, can also cause fertility issues. Again, you’ll often have prior knowledge of such problems, so it could give forewarning that you may have problems with your fertility.
If you think you could have a fertility problem, seeing your doctor who would refer you to a fertility specialist has always been the obvious solution. Infertility can’t, however, be officially declared until after you’ve been trying to conceive through unprotected sex for at least 12 months (but even then, it doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to have a baby – it may just be a fluke that you’ve not had any luck in one year).
This can be frustrating if you’re keen to have a baby, but it’s the approved medical approach. There’s no reason why you can’t see your doctor and express concerns about your fertility before you’ve been in this situation for one year, and it may help put your mind at rest to discuss any queries.
When you’ve had your heart set on getting pregnant, have been through endless fertility treatments and it still hasn’t worked out successfully, it can be very hard to handle. It may not be much consolation when you’re in the depths fertility problems are difficult to handle at the best of times, but when you’re first undergoing investigations and have the hope of treatment lingering ahead of you, there’s something positive to focus on.
Although treatments have advanced considerably over the years and there are good chances of success, but it helps to know there are others in the same situation too. Sometimes couples aren’t able to get pregnant at all, despite numerous treatment cycles. Sometimes they do get pregnant, but then tragically suffer from ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage or some other condition and lose their much longed for baby. All situations can be very difficult to handle – perhaps more so if you temporarily have a successful pregnancy, only for it to be lost. When this happens, it could be a Herculean task to break out of the inevitable doom and gloom that descends.
But, difficult as it is, it won’t do you any good in the long run to be overrun by gloom that you can’t break free of. It can put enormous pressure on your relationship, both as a couple and with friends and family, and it’s especially hard if one person is depressed and the other is trying to make the best of the situation. It’s not easy to admit defeat when you’ve wanted something so badly, but in some circumstances it may be necessary to do so.
Or perhaps you need to come to terms with your pregnancy being unsuccessful, recover and then get yourself back into a state where you can try again. Even if you’ve been advised that it’s unlikely that fertility treatment will ever be successful for you, it’s not necessarily the end of the road as options such as adoption are still viable.
No-one is doubting that it’s hard to move on from such difficult circumstances, but staying in doom and gloom forever won’t do you, your relationship or your health any good. If you’ve been completely immersed with thoughts about pregnancy, fertility and babies, and are low about your lack of pregnancy, then trying to move your attention onto other short term projects can help. It’s hard to stop thinking about the one thing that’s massively important to you, but having other things to think about can ease the burden a bit and bring you out of the ‘bubble’ you’ve created around you.
Once you’ve been trying for a baby for 12 months and have seen a doctor, you can then progress onto taking fertility tests, for you and your partner, to try and determine where any problems lie. This process, sadly, isn’t simple and there’s no quick and easy solution (although you may be lucky and hit on the cause quite quickly), but once you’re being tested, there is hope that something positive will come out of it in the end. Even though people may not be proclaiming loudly that they’ve got infertility issues, it’s actually a very common scenario. But with such a huge range of treatments available today, there’s a good chance that you’ll be successfully helped in the end. So don’t give up trying. The help you seek so much may be just around the corner.
- See more at: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/11/road-conception-may-rough-passable/#sthash.pTACBD8d.dpuf
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