A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
As it turns out, all of that confusion surrounding Lady Gaga’s new video was warranted. Even though it’s being billed as the visual for “G.U.Y.,” it’s more of a short film than a music video, split into four sections: “ARTPOP,” “Venus,” “G.U.Y.,” and “Manicure.” Did you expect any less from a video shot at a CASTLE over the course of a week? This is ARTPOP we’re talking about, where things are a little more abstract, even for Gaga. Clocking in at 11 minutes and 47 seconds, this is Gaga’s longest video to date which means (a) Brandon Maxwell had his hands full in the wardrobe department, and (b) much to our delight, there is an epic number of outfits to discuss. More pics after cut...
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
In the opening “ARTPOP” shot, we see a bunch of men fighting over money as Gaga is left in a ditch with her back punctured by an arrow, looking like a wounded bird. The men walk away, picking up bills scattered across the hilltop floor on their way out, and Gaga struggles to pull out the arrow. Now, I don’t speak Gaga but I can guess that all of this imagery is an allusion to the age-old existential struggle between art and commerce. Even more interesting is the parallel, whether intentional or not, to Kanye West’s short film for “Runaway,” which also features a Phoenix character played by Selita Ebanks.
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
After Gaga hobbles to the nearby Hearst Castle and gets taken in by men wearing avant, garbage-bag ponchos, the “Venus” segment—which we saw footage of last week—begins with Gaga rising from the Neptune pool like a white Phoenix from the, you know, ashes.
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
Meanwhile, the Real Housewives recruited by Gaga—Lisa Vanderpump, Kyle Richards, Brandi Glanville, Yolanda Foster, Kim Richards, Joyce Giraud de Ohoven, and Carlton Gebbia—play the harp, cello, guitar, and tambourine while lip-synching the lyrics to “Venus” in matching pink shift dresses printed with chains and jewels. Somehow they’re the realest part of Gaga’s “Venus” world, where everyone else looks like a sculpture plucked out of The Modern Wing.
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
Naturally, one of those costumes ends up on Gaga—the one that looks like an all-white cartoon bear. She wears it for a shot in front of a white rose hedge. Underneath, she wears a white one-piece, which we also see her in with her Rapunzel-like platinum locks down.
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
Then we see topless Gaga stretched out on a white floor with a turquoise scarf wrapped around her. She also wears white fishnets just to remind us of how much she loves the all-purpose material.
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
Gaga pulls out a space-age dance number next, in a white bikini, with her dance crew underneath rose-covered arches.
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
At only five minutes into the video, we’ve already learned that Gaga has an impressive swimwear collection. She one-ups her white bathing suits with a cutout gold one in the “Roman” room, where her male dancers coordinate their shirtless outfits with Gaga while suggestively using bows as props.
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
Gaga really dials up her Donatella look in the Roman pool scenes. She’s tan, platinum, and in strappy suits, like this black one, created by her BFF Madame Versace.
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
This is when it gets really weird. Or just more ~art~ than pop. We learn Gaga is running a cloning operation out of the Hearst Castle where she recreates Jesus, Gandhi, and Michael Jackson.
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
We see Mother Monster playing a scientist in her white lab coat and then...
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
Poof! Gaga reappears as a half-Lego creature opening up her chest for all of its contents—er Legos, to fall out (BTW, a creation by Nathan Sawaya). Little Monsters, where does this land on the Gaga spectrum?
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
Back to pop, Gaga gives us another great dance scene with her crew, this time while wearing jeans and nothing else. But if that seems too normal for Gaga, just wait...
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
Here we have Gaga as an evil villain/crow slayer wearing one of the wildest, most awesome headpieces we’ve seen her in yet. She emerges from the car in a black-and-white fur coat and daunting, sky-high black boots, joined by her Real Housewives sidekicks wearing matching lace bodysuits and (duh) lots of bling.
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
The trio storm a Wall Street-like office, Gaga shoots money into the air, and then starts torturing its executives. In the process, we get a peak of her insane, shiny black-and-white jumpsuit. Just Gaga being Gaga!
A still from Lady Gaga's 'G.U.Y.' music video.
Photo: Interscope Records
Before the video ends we also get a full look at Gaga’s last Donatella-esque outfit: a red halter bodysuit, which she pairs with gold heels and jewelry and wears while laying across a bed. The whole shot could have been an outtake from Gaga’s Versace campaign.
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