“Why me?” Zelda la Grange asks in her biography, Good Morning, Mr Mandela.It’s a good question. How did a young Afrikaans woman become
former president Nelson Mandela’s PA, gatekeeper and friend for almost
20 years?
To begin to understand their relationship, you have to understand what the two had in common.
“The thing that worked well for us was a sense of urgency,” said La Grange in an interview earlier this month.
“I offered loyalty, commitment and reliability.”
It turned out that she was the perfect match for the "hard taskmaster".
Said she: “I come from an obsessive compulsive family. We have to overachieve. When [Madiba] wanted something done, he wanted it done right now. He wanted to see results now. He wanted to know it was done. That is why we worked well professionally.”
Mandela would phone La Grange “anytime of the day or night”.
“I would drop everything and do what he wanted. And if he phoned 50 times, and I responded 50 times, he would keep on calling me. I was 24 years old, no dependents, and no husband. I was available,” said La Grange.
But on reading, Good Morning Mr Mandela, it is clear that their relationship was based on love too, not just hard work.
“I dreamt that you left me, that you deserted me, ” Madiba once said to her.
In response she put her hand on his hand and said: “Khulu, I would never ever do something like that and you should please never think about that ever again. I can give you my assurance that I will never abandon you.”
“In any event,” she said to him, “I think you are going to abandon me or chase me away before I can abandon you.”
La Grange writes that he then looked at her, laughed and said, “I will never do that.”
The book, which will be released internationally today, documents La Grange’s life, from her birth and her growing awareness of the horrors of apartheid to her subsequent working life with possibly the most famous politician in the world up to his death in December last year. La Grange said she wrote the book for herself, so as not to forget all the moments she shared with the iconic statesman.
I asked her if Mandela ever reprimanded her.
“If I neglected to do anything, he would reprimand. If I was sloppy about putting his slippers together neatly, he would call me back to do it again. He was a perfectionist. Totally.”
At night, his watch, his ring, his pen, had to be laid out on tissue paper on his bedside table.
“I couldn’t fold his newspapers. He would fold them his way.”
About his life as a family man, La Grange said while she could not account for his life after hours, “I do know that there was very little time. He didn’t integrate his family and work well. He just worked.”
Mandela's wife Graca Machel made a great effort to bring her family and Winnie Madikizela-Mandela's closer together.
Said La Grange: “If it were me, it would be difficult to insist on that reconciliation. It took effort from her. Hats off for her. She deserves respect.”
And did Mandela ever comment on the small tattoo La Grange has around her wrist?
“I don’t think he ever noticed my tattoo. I’ve probably changed my hair colour about 20 times. He never said anything. But he was very particular about weight. He would say to people, 'You need to lose weight'.“
He could do this, she said, because he was so disciplined about exercise.
“I have been to many exciting places. In many instances all I can tell you about a specific country is what’s on the hotel’s room service menu and where to get a medicine ball in that country. He would exercise. Everywhere.”
La Grange writes that the last months of Madiba’s life were difficult.
“[My friends] knew too well that my entire world revolved around Madiba and seeing him like that [would be] the worst heartbreak I had ever suffered.”
When he died, La Grange said, she wanted “the world to stop”.
“You can prepare as much as you want. Nobody can plan for the eventuality.”
The last time La Grange saw Madiba alive was on July 11 2013.
“I knew I had to sound cheerful and not sad, and said: 'Hello Khulu. It’s Zeldina. I am here to see you … ’ and there it was. He opened his eyes, followed by the biggest brightest smile and he looked at me and fixed his eyes on me."
She tried to go back on a few occasions, but every time she tried something prevented her from going.
In the book she writes: “What worried me most and kept me awake was whether during this prolonged illness there was ever a moment when he was conscious enough to think, 'Why hasn’t Zeldina been here?' I cringe when I think about the fact that it may have crossed his mind that in the end I had perhaps left him as I promised I would never do. Did he think that I had neglected or abandoned him? And now, 19 years later, I was longing to put my white hand on his dark skin; to touch the skin I was brought up to believe was not as good as mine. Yet it was that dark skin that gave my life significance. My entire being at the age of 43 yearned to touch that hand once more, to feel the ripples around his knuckles, to see his smile lighting up the room when I say, 'Don’t worry Khulu, I did not desert you'.”
And Mandela has not deserted La Grange, nor she him.
“My relationship was with him and no one can ever remove that from me. People die, relationships don’t die and my relationship with Madiba will never die.”
What next for “Zeldina”?
“I am going to sell flowers for the rest of my life. Beauty, peace. No stress. If I can put my heart and soul into selling flowers, I am sure can make it a success."
Source- The Times
Good Morning, Mr Mandela is published by Penguin and is available in bookstores today for R295.
To begin to understand their relationship, you have to understand what the two had in common.
“The thing that worked well for us was a sense of urgency,” said La Grange in an interview earlier this month.
“I offered loyalty, commitment and reliability.”
It turned out that she was the perfect match for the "hard taskmaster".
Said she: “I come from an obsessive compulsive family. We have to overachieve. When [Madiba] wanted something done, he wanted it done right now. He wanted to see results now. He wanted to know it was done. That is why we worked well professionally.”
Mandela would phone La Grange “anytime of the day or night”.
“I would drop everything and do what he wanted. And if he phoned 50 times, and I responded 50 times, he would keep on calling me. I was 24 years old, no dependents, and no husband. I was available,” said La Grange.
But on reading, Good Morning Mr Mandela, it is clear that their relationship was based on love too, not just hard work.
“I dreamt that you left me, that you deserted me, ” Madiba once said to her.
In response she put her hand on his hand and said: “Khulu, I would never ever do something like that and you should please never think about that ever again. I can give you my assurance that I will never abandon you.”
“In any event,” she said to him, “I think you are going to abandon me or chase me away before I can abandon you.”
La Grange writes that he then looked at her, laughed and said, “I will never do that.”
The book, which will be released internationally today, documents La Grange’s life, from her birth and her growing awareness of the horrors of apartheid to her subsequent working life with possibly the most famous politician in the world up to his death in December last year. La Grange said she wrote the book for herself, so as not to forget all the moments she shared with the iconic statesman.
I asked her if Mandela ever reprimanded her.
“If I neglected to do anything, he would reprimand. If I was sloppy about putting his slippers together neatly, he would call me back to do it again. He was a perfectionist. Totally.”
At night, his watch, his ring, his pen, had to be laid out on tissue paper on his bedside table.
“I couldn’t fold his newspapers. He would fold them his way.”
About his life as a family man, La Grange said while she could not account for his life after hours, “I do know that there was very little time. He didn’t integrate his family and work well. He just worked.”
Mandela's wife Graca Machel made a great effort to bring her family and Winnie Madikizela-Mandela's closer together.
Said La Grange: “If it were me, it would be difficult to insist on that reconciliation. It took effort from her. Hats off for her. She deserves respect.”
And did Mandela ever comment on the small tattoo La Grange has around her wrist?
“I don’t think he ever noticed my tattoo. I’ve probably changed my hair colour about 20 times. He never said anything. But he was very particular about weight. He would say to people, 'You need to lose weight'.“
He could do this, she said, because he was so disciplined about exercise.
“I have been to many exciting places. In many instances all I can tell you about a specific country is what’s on the hotel’s room service menu and where to get a medicine ball in that country. He would exercise. Everywhere.”
La Grange writes that the last months of Madiba’s life were difficult.
“[My friends] knew too well that my entire world revolved around Madiba and seeing him like that [would be] the worst heartbreak I had ever suffered.”
When he died, La Grange said, she wanted “the world to stop”.
“You can prepare as much as you want. Nobody can plan for the eventuality.”
The last time La Grange saw Madiba alive was on July 11 2013.
“I knew I had to sound cheerful and not sad, and said: 'Hello Khulu. It’s Zeldina. I am here to see you … ’ and there it was. He opened his eyes, followed by the biggest brightest smile and he looked at me and fixed his eyes on me."
She tried to go back on a few occasions, but every time she tried something prevented her from going.
In the book she writes: “What worried me most and kept me awake was whether during this prolonged illness there was ever a moment when he was conscious enough to think, 'Why hasn’t Zeldina been here?' I cringe when I think about the fact that it may have crossed his mind that in the end I had perhaps left him as I promised I would never do. Did he think that I had neglected or abandoned him? And now, 19 years later, I was longing to put my white hand on his dark skin; to touch the skin I was brought up to believe was not as good as mine. Yet it was that dark skin that gave my life significance. My entire being at the age of 43 yearned to touch that hand once more, to feel the ripples around his knuckles, to see his smile lighting up the room when I say, 'Don’t worry Khulu, I did not desert you'.”
And Mandela has not deserted La Grange, nor she him.
“My relationship was with him and no one can ever remove that from me. People die, relationships don’t die and my relationship with Madiba will never die.”
What next for “Zeldina”?
“I am going to sell flowers for the rest of my life. Beauty, peace. No stress. If I can put my heart and soul into selling flowers, I am sure can make it a success."
Source- The Times
Good Morning, Mr Mandela is published by Penguin and is available in bookstores today for R295.
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